Every 13 seconds there is a divorce in America. Divorce used to be shamed on and now there are around 7,000 per day according to Wilkinson and Finkbeiner Family Law Attorneys. Divorce should be necessary if the couple is no longer happy, but if there are children involved, then it should be handled in a way the child isn’t negatively affected. Now being 18, the pieces start being put together.

Depending on the child’s age, when their parents choose to separate, it can affect their mentality and behavior. When the child is younger, they can’t process the meaning of divorce and that their parents don’t “ love” each other anymore. According to Healthline, ages 6-12 are the most affected by their parents divorce because it’s hard for them to cope. For teenagers, it’s easier for them to understand the separation, but they tend to be more worried about their social status in relation to the divorce.

The first year of the divorce is always the hardest. According to Prevention.com, there are changes in their daily schedule that cause stress, anger, anxiety and disbelief. When traveling house to house depending on the schedule your parents legally agree on, it adds stress because you have to change plans, or you forget something. There’s often the feeling that you are missing out because you’re at one parent’s house and not the others. When I played soccer, my mom would only come to the games when it was her weekend, but my dad made sure to be at every one. There are some children that adapt faster than others, but some seem to not go back to what their “normal” life was like before the divorce.

Getting divorced has become a norm to today’s society, but there are ways to try and stay a happy family. According to the University of Rochester Medical Center, the keys to a happy marriage are frequent communication, building trust, seeking couples counseling if necessary and learning to forgive. Although those aspects can help, some people just aren’t meant to be anymore and need a fresh start. It’s hard for people to change, and that’s what led to my parents divorce.

Once I got older, I slowly began to realize that my parents needed to get divorced because they are happier not together. The pieces of the puzzle came together and I saw my mother was the issue of their relationship because my relationship with her was ending up like theirs.